She had a compartment to herself in the train from London to Morningside Park, and she sat with both her feet on the seat in an attitude that would certainly have distressed her mother to see, and horrified her grandmother beyond measure; she sat with her knees up to her chin and her hands clasped before them, and she was so lost in thought that she discovered with a start, from a lettered lamp, that she was at Morningside Park, and thought she was moving out of the station, whereas she was only moving in. You make a game with me, imbecile. It was bleeding again. She sat drawn together in her chair in the corner of the box, at a loss what to say or do—afraid, curious, perplexed. It was astonishing how often this picture returned: cold rosy apples and flurries of snow. When Sheila was in a bad mood, she berated her new foster daughter for streaks on the windows, dust on the figurines, for crooked bed sheet corners, and floors that had not been waxed properly. The subterranean level of the Diedermayer house was fully bedecked with every luxury known to mankind. It was not quite the search I intended,’ he said with a touch of selfmockery as he released her, ‘but success comes in all sorts of unexpected ways. The door leaned inward. Awful shapes seemed to flit by, borne on the wings of the tempest, animating and directing its fury. I have weird skin. She was vehemently impatient—she did not clearly know for what—to do, to be, to experience. Anna, you shall not go.
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